Fifty's Nifty

“Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal . . .” (Phil. 3:13f.)

Someone told me that “Fifty’s Nifty!” I’m not so sure that is really the case. I’m still trying to figure that one out. But fifty is the reality now. I turned the magic number in May. I’ve crested that hill. I’m looking down the other side. I’m receiving lots of advice and hearing lots of catchy phrases, like, “50 is the new 30.” Which makes me wonder if Bob Dylan, who is quoted as saying, “Never trust anyone over 30,” is able to trust himself, anymore?

Fifty is one of those chronological landmarks that can be a pivotal point in a person’s life. It’s a time to reflect and reconsider where you’ve been, where you are, and where you’re headed. Some people go through what’s called a “mid-life crisis,” which has always baffled me. If we know we have a tendency to go through these crises at certain times in our lives, shouldn’t we be aware of them and not allow them to disturb our lives?

Mid-life doesn’t have to be a crisis. In fact, it can be an opportunity to recognize our need to periodically stop and reconsider our life direction. It can be a silly thing when we lament the loss of our youth and desperately seek to recapture it. Some quit their jobs and try to become rock stars. Others walk away from a loving marriage to date a younger person. Still others purchase new toys (like motorcycles) and try to return to a wilder season of life. Some start wearing clothes that should be left to teenagers. Not only can this response to mid-life be silly; it can be downright destructive.

But mid-life can be an excellent opportunity to reflect. Am I happy with where I am? Is this where I wanted to be? Have I achieved my goals? Am I still going in the direction I wanted to go? And what can I constructively do to make my life – and the lives of those around me – better? Upon turning 50, I’ve reflected a bit, and here are a few goals I’ve set for myself.

First, make the most of each day. Our Lenten series – Live Like You Were Dying – reminded me to make the most of every day. So many of us get distracted. As a pastor, I find myself putting out fires here, there and everywhere. I am easily distracted from what is really important in my own life and in the life of this congregation. I find myself “majoring” on the minors and “minoring” on the majors. I want to spend more quality time with loved ones doing memorable things. Goal #1 is to make the most of each day.

Secondly, speak the truth in love. I’m tired of walking on egg shells. There are certain people in life who are so easily offended and/or become angry when they don’t get their way. I don’t like conflict, so I tend to avoid potentially volatile situations. I realize I’m not doing them any favors and I’m not being true to what I believe. Goal #2 is to speak the truth in love. If that frustrates certain people, then so be it.

Finally, set goals that matter. On the reality television show, The Celebrity Apprentice, one of the contestants said, “This show is all about friends and charity . . . and that’s what life should really be about.” As a pastor, I would, of course, make one addition: God. Wouldn’t you agree? That’s what the church should be about: God, friends and charity. Our staff, our buildings, our budget should be dedicated to the worship of God, to the deepening of friendships and to the provision of charity. I’m proud of FPCSA as we gain a reputation for service in our community, especially to children. We are making a difference in people’s lives. Goal #3 is to set goals that matter.

Mid-life crises are not limited to individuals. Organizations go through them as well. Churches experience mid-life crises. Those times can be destructive or constructive. They can cause division and dissonance or they can foster positive change. Two years ago FPCSA went through a period of crisis and reflection. As good Presbyterians, we formed a task force to study the concerns and make recommendations. Some of those recommendations had to do with staffing; others had to do with scheduling and programs.

I’m proud of the work that our congregation did to make positive changes that make a difference. Our ministry to Latinos continues to grow. The after school Amigos Program has had a tremendously positive effect in the lives of at-risk young people. In less than year it went from no kids to having a waiting list. And our outreach programs to the community have been wonderful.

The next area I see FPCSA focusing on is youth (Junior and Senior High School age). Since I have served this church (8 ½ years), I have seen a steady stream of families involved in the children’s ministry who left when their kids got into Middle School because the church was not supplying a strong Youth Ministry. Now, we are beginning to see the same thing happen with our Latino members. They are beginning to migrate to other churches that have strong Youth Ministries.

We will need to look ahead at how we might address this concern. This is a goal that matters, not only to our families, but to the life of the church. I’m looking forward to what lies ahead, for myself, and for FPCSA. I hope you will stand with me as we make the most of each day, speak the truth in love, and set goals that matter. That would be pretty nifty. J

May God richly bless you even as He blesses others through you!

In His Love & Service,

Lance