February 2009 Messenger: "Visitation"

I was sick, and you visited me – Jesus

I would like to write a little bit about visitation this month. One of the rights and responsibilities of being a pastor is the privilege of visiting members and friends of the particular congregation. There are few other vocations where a non-family member can walk into a hospital room without question and move seamlessly into the life of a family. Truly, it is a profound honor to participate in people’s lives this way. My friendships with each and every one of you are a gift to me.

Jesus told His followers that when we reach out in love to those who are hungry, thirsty, to the stranger, the naked, the sick, or those in prison, we are in fact reaching out to Him. (Mt. 25:34ff.) The author of James writes, “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” (Js. 1:27) We are created to reach out in love to others.

In our Book of Order, the responsibilities of a pastor are outlined. One of those responsibilities is described in this way: “to exercise pastoral care, devoting special attention to the poor, the sick, the troubled, and the dying.” Pastoral care is a part of who we are and what we do as ministers. It is also part of who we are and what we do as followers of Jesus Christ.

One of the expectations of pastors is that they will visit the members of the congregation. But sometimes those expectations are undefined and ambiguous; there’s a sense that the pastor should be making house calls, but how often and to whom isn’t really well defined. Other times there is a breakdown in communication. A church member is rushed to the hospital and the pastor doesn’t hear about it until the person has been sent home; the church member feels neglected and the pastor feels frustrated. And sometimes there are unrealistic expectations. In my last church one of the members told me the former pastor had visited every member of the congregation on an annual basis. This seemed unrealistic to me.

Let me offer a few personal perspectives on visitation. First, I love being with people. I love seeing where they live – what my Gran used to call, their “digs.” I learn so much about people when I see their home environment. It offers a comfortable and familiar place for people to open up and tell stories about their lives. Often photographs, collectibles or heirlooms that are on display open the way to deeper conversation. I love hearing stories and getting to know people better.

Secondly, I will visit a person in the hospital or after a loved one has died as quickly as humanly possible. To me, these are sacred moments and I feel it is my God-given privilege and responsibility to enter into these situations in the name of Christ with love and grace. At the same time, the reality is that I cannot always come as quickly as I would like. Sometimes I have time conflicts, parental responsibilities or I am too far away. Please know that I will come as quickly as I can or I will contact one of our other pastors to go in my place.

Also, remember that I cannot respond if I do not hear. In a pastoral emergency, please contact the church office (714-542-7253). If you get the voicemail, dial extension 333, leave a message, and then hang up; I should be paged after you hang up. Also, you may leave a message on my office voicemail at extension 301. And if an urgent matter happens during non-business hours, please do not hesitate to call me at home (714-389-1036). I want to hear from you.

Thirdly, if you are concerned about one of our members that might benefit from a pastoral call, please let me know. Sometimes people could use a visit or call from the pastor and the pastor just doesn’t know. Give me a heads-up and I will do my best to follow up. Mary Lee and Ann Niedringhaus are great at this. Leave a note in my box, give a call or speak to me and I will do my best to follow up. Feel free to nudge me a little, too. Sometimes I forget.

Fourth, if you would like a visit from the pastor, please invite him! I was raised in a home where we were taught that it was rude to invite oneself to someone else’s home. So it goes against every fiber of my being to call and invite myself over. Perhaps it’s a bit of a generational thing, too. Younger generations are often uncomfortable if the pastor comes over. There’s almost a feeling like they’re being called into the principal’s office. So please don’t hesitate to give me a call and say, “Hey, we would love to have you over sometime.” You’ll make my day!

Finally, pastoral care is not just for the professional ministers; pastoral care is for all believers. The Book of Order quote above is written both to pastors as well as to elders. James was speaking to the whole of the church when he described “pure and undefiled religion.” Jesus was speaking to all believers when He said, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of My family, you did it to Me.” When we reach out in love and compassion to others, we are reaching out to Jesus Christ. That is a gift.

May God richly bless you even as God richly blesses others through you.

In His Love & Service,

Lance